Getting Sold By Academic Criticism

I am a sucker for long-winded (but precise!) scholarship.

So, I've decided to write down a recent example I happened to have thoroughly enjoyed from Tony Sharpe's biography of poet Wallace Stevens:

This poem ["The Comedian as the Letter C"] was indeed the accomplishment of an extremist in the exercise, an act almost of aesthetic terrorism in a society whose post-puritan recrudescence had recently (1919) introduced Prohibition. It was also, as I have tried to suggest, a repudiation of several of the precious tenants of literary Modernism, in its unorthodoxy with regard to location and locution — no wonder Stevens and Hemingway came to blows! Although the heightened consciousness of the materiality of his linguistic medium might link Steven's poem to radical experimenters such as [Gertrude] Stein, the willed anachronism of its lexicon, and the old-fashionedness of its blank verse and the basic narrative shape, suggest a more traditionalist poetics. It is almost as if the poem had been expressly designed to appeal to nobody at all[...]

Post-puritan recrudescence! The willed anachronism of its lexicon! Complex ideas wrought more complex through the wit of formal linguistic expression! God, I miss the ivory tower

This Exists: Rainbow Raider

"Wow." Just, "Wow."

Times Are Tough, Orko

[From here]

Lousy Trend Pieces on the Facebook "25 Random Things" Explosion!!!

What have we done, ppl!? In the future, be careful about doing things that can lead to lousy trend pieces. [via Gawker]

Far And Away The Nerdiest Thing (Comedy-Centric) I've Ever Done

... was, once upon a time, look up this YouTube video of the Onion staff having a "Thanksgiving Day Chili Cookoff" after hearing two of the writers mention it on an episode of WFMU's the Speakeasy. Everyone who reads this blog now has something on me. Unless, I guess, if you watch it all the way through yourselves.

Juicebox (container)

A juicebox is a small container used to store liquid, most often juice. They are frequently made of cardboard with a foil lining, but variations exist. Juiceboxes are most popular with children, although other uses include boxed water for emergencies and boxed wine.

They are known as Cartons in the UK, and Prima's in Australia

This Was My Major Impression Of The 3rd Debate

Stop placating your base, McCain, and lunge for the youth vote! Less Joe, more Zeke!

Albino Alligator

Okay, I'll level with you guys.

I am only posting this to move that post off the main page with the (otherwise great) video from "The Real News"—the one that starts automatically.

Top 5 Cringe Inducing Videogame Raps

[via 1Up]

"What Did You Bring Me Daddy?" [Our 21st Century Mad Men]

Madison Avenue is always at its laziest and unintentionally creepy when marketing toys to kids. Like this:



[via BWE]

George Bush Doesn't Care About Bald People?

Think again. [How totally behind am I on this animation's existence?]

Han Shot First!

Why did George Lucas have to redo all these scenes so that Han Solo is more of a goody-two-shoes? Que ridículo!

MOVED A DAY (CUZ OF RAIN)!!!! THIS SUNDAY!!!!!! August 31th!!!!!!! 2:30pm!!!

THIS SUNDAY!!!!!! August 31th!!!!!!! 2:30pm!!!

I'm subletting my apt. to pursue cartooning (and general journalistic/historical/scientific weirdness) FULL TIME!

WHICH MEANS there is only one weekend left to throw an amazing BBQ STUNT* SPECTACULAR on my roof celebrating my 25 and 3/4's years of being alive!

Even though I haven't thrown my own birthday-related party since inviting my whole class to see "Back to the Future Part II" in the theater — I will attempt to have lots of delicious things for everyone! (but please bring Foods and Drinks, also, to meet demand.)

ALSO: There will be music, and a kids' pool on the roof. Does that cover everything?

IT DOESN'T: MESSAGE ME ON MYSPACE OR FACEBOOK FOR DETAILS.

*Due to a recent Park Slope Council ordinance, an area-wide moratorium on spectacular stunt permits is in effect until the next calendar year. In compliance with this there will be no stunts at Matthew Phelan's 25th and 3/4 Anniversary Stunt Spectacular.

Gangbangers.

The Dark Spiderman

High Speed Video Of Man Blowing Raspberry

Where's my animated GIF, internet!?

Change We Can Make Believe In

Your guess is as good as mine as to what inspired this one: a visual interpretation the "When Obama Wins" meme, maybe? [Via Bullshit]

From The Bowels Of The Internet: Animated GIFs

Less-Than-Valuable Lesson, Learned: You can't directly link to the stuff evar. Sorry, readers. This is how I'ma gonna make eet up to you:


I hope this is new to everybody and that it is funny.

I have to say, wading through the dregs of 4chan's smutty, depressing and vulgar animated GIFs section was maybe not worth finding these, but hell I needed a break:

• Long, but worth it. A History of WWII as a told in MMORPG chat dialog
• Novelty award. WhateverTF this is
• Most like what you would expect from the internet. Star Trek: TNG Humor
• Builds in strength over prolonged viewing. Ewoks
• Laziest Jeff Koons Jacko Joke. This one

Back to the drawing board. (Woah, literally!)

Itchy The Killer

Atul Gawande's latest article in the New Yorker sounds like an awesome horror story. Phantom limbs, the nervous system and the science of pyschotic, compulsive and self-mutilating itching:

For M., the itching was so torturous, and the area so numb, that her scratching began to go through the skin. At a later office visit, her doctor found a silver-dollar-size patch of scalp where skin had been replaced by scab. M. tried bandaging her head, wearing caps to bed. But her fingernails would always find a way to her flesh, especially while she slept.

One morning, after she was awakened by her bedside alarm, she sat up and, she recalled, "this fluid came down my face, this greenish liquid." She pressed a square of gauze to her head and went to see her doctor again. M. showed the doctor the fluid on the dressing. The doctor looked closely at the wound. She shined a light on it and in M.'s eyes. Then she walked out of the room and called an ambulance. Only in the Emergency Department at Massachusetts General Hospital, after the doctors started swarming, and one told her she needed surgery now, did M. learn what had happened. She had scratched through her skull during the night--and all the way into her brain.

WoooOOOOOaaaaahhhh!

[via Jonah Lehrer, a bastard who isn't linking to the New Yorker article]

Scandinavian Cory Kennedy Doppelgänger

I don't really even know if this person who does the Polkadots & Vodkashots blog is from Scandinavia, but it doesn't matter. I feel creepy, lame and all around worse for having posted about it. Unless people come to this site after combing through their recent issue of NYLON looking for more clothing ideas. In which case, you're welcome, I guess.